How to Save a Relationship
Seven Steps to Save Your Relationship
Jim’s hours at the office are long, and Lisbet is feeling neglected. Lisbet’s days are filled with her children and their needs, and Jim is complaining about how his needs aren’t met? What can be done to save this relationship? Should they even try? If a relationship is to be saved, this is what must happen.
First of all, the couple must determine if their relationship is worth repairing. Nearly all relationships will mend if the couples work at it, but each partner must commit to making the effort. Nothing can help a relationship if one partner has decided they want out and isn’t interested in continuing as a couple.
A lot of people remain in fractured relationships for convenience or stay married for the sake of their children. However, that is not sufficient. The relationship must be deemed salvageable by both partners, if they want to know how to save a relationship.
The next step is to identify the issue or issues that plague the relationship. People involved in relationships often mistake the symptoms for the actual problems, and that can create bigger issues when trying to save a relationship.
For example, people mistakenly believe that a partner’s infidelity is the issue that destroys a relationship. In reality, the partner’s straying is symptomatic of something more serious. If a relationship has become barren of any real intimacy, a spouse may attempt to seek it elsewhere. It was the absence of intimacy between the couple that was the at the root of the affair, which many times people fail to recognize.
Intimacy must be restored to the relationship, and if you try using guilt to prevent your partner from straying, it may be effective for a time, but other issues, such as pornography, could arise, because the underlying cause was not resolved.
The relationship can be repaired if the underlying issues are dealt with instead of the symptoms.
After you have taken this step and restored intimacy to your relationship, you will be able to talk more comfortably with one another. Don’t be afraid to speak up, but listen when it’s your partner’s turn to talk. Intimate gestures, such as hand holding or stroking a cheek while you are discussing the issues in your relationship, will let your partner know that you want to be close, even though your feelings are jumbled.
If things are said that are painful, try to keep in mind that it’s not intentional; your partner is trying to bring everything out in the open. He or she wants to repair the relationship.
After you and your partner have identified the issues that have damaged your relationship, it’s time to come up with an action plan on how to resolve them. You must then take steps to tackle each issue in your plan.
If you haven’t been spending time together as a couple, schedule a night for the two of you to do something together. Alternate weeks, in which you plan an outing or activity one week, and your partner plans the next date night. If you are having problems talking to one another, schedule 20 minutes every evening, say before bedtime, and just talk. The next step is to actually do it.
You both must understand that maintaining a healthy relationship is a continual process. You may find that you make progress and then slip a little ways back. You will share tears and happy times as your relationship moves forward. One good rule of thumb is to apologize readily and assign blame very cautiously.
Do you think your relationship is worth repairing? If the answer is yes, this article has described how to save a relationship. To learn more about how to save your relationship, I highly recommend that you check out The Magic of Making Up, which taught me everything that you’re reading here. Definitely worth checking out if you want to rekindle things in your relationship.