Reviewer: Elaine Erikson
Rating:
Product Reviewed: 500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets by Michael Webb

Keeping your lovemaking passionate in the context of a long-term relationship is one of the hardest challenges that any couple will ever face. When a couple first meets, sparks fly, the chemistry is great, but as time passes, the magic can fade away and the excitement start to fizzle out, making passion seem like a real effort.

500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets and Secrets by relationship coach Michael Webb is designed to try to bring back the kind of spark couples first felt for each other when they met, to bring back the passionate fire in any long-term relationship. This is a useful book for any couple who wants to focus on better lovemaking in their relationship.

The book focuses on how sex works in relationships, and how it is linked to romance for couples. After the basic background on lovemaking, it reviews important ways to put the spark back in your love life, such as using toys in the bedroom, stimulating each other by sharing adult films, and what you need to know about the Kama Sutra (The Book of Positions).

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Michael Webb also gives you two special sections in the back of the book, guidelines on the importance of lubrication, with tips and tricks, plus 16 illustrations of key positions to try. These additional sections are great, but the heart of the book lies in the 500 tips that help bring back the spark in your love life.

Each page has eight to ten quick tips that you can use right away to stoke the fires of passion in your partner. You don’t have to spend hours plowing through detailed relationship manuals. Just open the book, pick a tip or technique, and try it. The book is easy to read and laid out clearly. It couldn’t be easier to just flip open the book and then join your partner with a couple of great new ideas to try.

500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets and Secrets completely lives up to its title.

It gives you over 500 inspirational ideas for improving your love life right away. I counted 539 tips in the book and am happily working my way through them all! The tips and secrets include oral sex ideas both guys and gals can try, fun foreplay ideas, and great games to try (I loved this section and wished there were more of them).

500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets and Secrets has ideas on how to improve sensation during lovemaking, new places to make love to add variety to your sex life, and ways to integrate lovemaking into your daily life as much as possible. The “coming out of the shower to play” idea certainly has helped my relationship. Not everyone will find every single one of the 539 tips exciting, but that’s only to be expected. But you’re bound to find plenty in the book that you and your partner will enjoy.

Over 500 tips may seem a bit overwhelming–I suggest getting a pencil and marking the ones you’ve tried, with a plus or minus or zero sign to rate how they worked for you. That way you can dip into the book for an idea to recapture that spark and see how it goes for you both. This is not a book you need to read cover to cover, but look at and enjoy.

500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets and Secrets also includes things most partners will enjoy. I didn’t find anything gross, tasteless or depraved in the book, just things two loving partners should enjoy sharing.

So while not every tip was a winner, or a totally unique idea, and I would love to have read about more games to try with my partner, this is still an excellent book full of invaluable hints, tips and tricks to bring the spark back to your relationship. It is packed full of ideas you can use every night, without a ton of padding in the book, and is unlike any book I’ve used before.

I give it a two thumbs up to read and to use. If you are looking for ways to re-ignite the kind of passion you and your partner felt when you first met, I definitely recommend you get a copy of “500 Lovemaking Tips and Secrets and Secrets” by Michael Webb and experience a whole new level of pleasure and passion with your partner.

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Reviewer: Elaine Erikson
Rating:
Product Reviewed: Supreme Self-Confidence by Slade Shaw

Every time people start telling me about their relationship and dating frustrations, the same old excuses keep tumbling out: “I don’t have time to be with someone,” “My career is my main concern right now,” “I just can’t find the right person,” “There aren’t any nice men and women where I live,” and “I still haven’t met ‘the one.’”

Many people are frustrated and essentially clueless when it comes to why true love hasn’t found it’s way into their life.

When I add up the number of people who have approached me to help them overcome their dating disasters, I can point out just as many products and plans on the market that are promising idealistic scenarios.

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These products guarantee that they’ll work wonderfully for you, and in no time at all they’ll be able to teach you what to wear, what to say and how to make jokes on a date, how to behave, how to get the most out of your opportunity with your date, and how to learn a little-known dating rule.  So you can understand why I never really get excited when a new product crosses my desk.

But that was then.  If you’re seeking a surefire way to gain the self-confidence necessary for improving not only your dating life but also your outlook in a broad range of other social situations, waste no time in getting the new ebook by Slade Shaw, from MeetYourSweet.com.

• Have you been looking for reliable ways to strengthen your sense of self and raise your self-awareness?
• Are you loaded with self-doubt that you want to cast off?
• Do you want to develop your own unique social identity and set your life’s course?
• And what about some advice on how to get through embarrassing social events and learn how to start up conversations with strangers?

You’ll get the answers to all of these questions and much more in Slade Shaw’s newest book, “Supreme Self-Confidence in Dating, Relationships & Social Situations.”

The 184 pages of Shaw’s ebook are packed full of tips on how to initiate genuine change in yourself and in your confidence in social, professional and private situations. You’ll also learn the techniques for confidence-building that can be applied to everyday life and produce life-altering results.

What is it about this book that makes it so interesting?  That’s simple: It teaches you that at the core of all of life’s greatest successes is self-confidence. You will soon find signs of success showing up in your personal and dating life, in your professional career, and in your general life goals, all of which are built on the conviction that you can indeed conquer your fears and see true growth in many areas of your life.  If you lack self-confidence, you’ll be going through your days thinking you don’t have the power to achieve anything.

Are you going to sit back and accept life as it happens to you, or do you want to take chances and set the course of your own destiny? Will you let other people decide whether or not you should be successful, or will you take it upon yourself to make miracles happen and encourage other people you meet along your life’s journey?

Everyone, even the most self-confident people, wish they could change or improve various aspects of their life; the essential first step is to have the unshaken belief that change is possible.

• Would it please you if you attracted more attention at parties?
• Do you want to know how to conquer your fears and relinquish your past experiences to the past?
• Would you like to set a clear life course for yourself, with goals of all sizes identified along the way?
• Would you like to know the tricks for starting a great conversation and keeping it going?
• Do you want to learn how to cure your crippling shyness, which always seems to strike at important times in your life?
• Would you like to know how to shake off the stresses of the workplace and be effective when the pressure has reached a boiling point?
• Do you want to know how to be sexually confident on your dates?
• Would you like to know how to attract people to you and to become the master of your feminine and masculine selves?
• Do you want to have unflappable confidence in all of your relationships?

This book has an abundance of information that can help you to continue improving yourself, and it’s useful even for people who think they already have all of these issues solved. With its professional design and eye-catching layout, the book’s 184 pages are full of life-altering information and techniques to be studied by those who are eager to initiate changes in their life.

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First of all, you have to deal with the causes of the break-up. Who was responsible for the actions that led to the divorce or separation, you or him? Obviously, if it was his actions, they are not unforgivable or you wouldn’t want him back.

If your actions were responsible, how readily will he forgive you? How good was the relationship before the acts that led to the break-up? What are the best things you and he shared in your marriage? What were the low points?

Has enough time passed that any sins committed can be more easily forgiven? Time, as the saying goes, does heal all wounds.

If the marriage produced any children, then they are a consideration as well. If they would like their father back in the home you shared together, then you might enlist their assistance if they are old enough to understand.

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You have to be careful if you involve the kids because it could appear to him like you are using them to ensnare him.

If you are on speaking terms with your ex-husband, you should try to arrange a meeting with him at a quiet place, not a noisy bar or crowded restaurant. Instead, you should choose a place that both of you will associate with fond memories of your relationship.

The reason for the meeting may be expressed as, “I need to talk to you about something that is very important and affects both of us. I can’t talk on the phone, but must see you in person.”

Prepare what you want to say. Make an outline as if you were making a business presentation. This event is, after all, more important than any business meeting. Practice what you want to say and learn your lines, but don’t be too stilted when you speak to him.

Be sure to include a list of all the reasons you should get back together. You may ask for a trial period, or just to start dating. If his actions precipitated the break-up, give him your complete forgiveness. If the actions were yours, ask for his forgiveness.

If your ex-husband accepts your invitation, half the battle is won. It is a sign that he has no problem meeting with you and talking. If he was very resentful over the divorce, he might not agree to meet at all.

Refrain from anything that might be construed as begging, pleading or playing on his sympathies. This is a huge turn-off to most people and would probably make it even harder for you to connect with your former husband.

If the meeting doesn’t work or isn’t possible, you should see if you can have a third party intervene. Your priest, pastor, rabbi or other Church official is a good place to start. Another alternative is a good mutual friend or couple who will talk to your ex-husband for you.

His relatives are also a possible source you can use to reconnect with your ex-husband. You could enlist their aid to get him to listen to your proposal.

Leave no stone unturned, nor any legitimate act undone if you want to reconnect with him.

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If you and the love of your life are on the outs and you’re not ready to call it quits just yet, there are some measures you can try. While there are no guarantees in life or relationships, there are three ways to get your ex back into your life that are well worth trying.

If you’re after ways to get your ex back into your life and you want them to stay this time, words, actions and attitude can go a very long way. No matter who is to blame for the final breakup, you can practice these 3 things to help you have a decent chance of getting your ex’s attention.

Even if things don’t work out like you’d planned, putting words, actions and attitude to work for you can help with other relationships down the road. Should you prove successful in your efforts to get your ex back, these three things can also help you rebuild, maintain and grow your relationship for the better as well.

So to get your ex back in your life try the following 3 things:

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* State your case - If you really want to get your ex back in your life, they’ll need to know your intent. Try sitting down and speaking with your ex directly about your desire to get back together and why you want this, and explain how the relationship could be different. If your ex is to blame for the final breakup, hearing that you want to try again could make all the difference. If you are to blame, your sincere apology and desire to make amends might help. Take the time to truly listen to the response and let your ex state his or her side. Even if you are not hearing the words you desire, let your ex finish without interruption.

* Take action to make the change - Even if your words fall on deaf ears, put your intended actions to work for you. Take the steps you’ve said you would to improve who you are as a person and as a partner. Show that you really are looking for ways to get your ex back in your life and you may be surprised at the reaction you get.

* Have a positive attitude - As you work out the ways to get your ex back in your life, make sure to maintain a positive attitude. Avoid pestering your ex or constantly calling to see if they’ve had a change of heart. There are few things less attractive than desperation. Make sure not to display this or you may become less attractive to your ex and others around you. Remember to keep taking action and to maintain a positive attitude. If you believe in yourself, your worthiness to have a solid relationship and your ability to make things right, you just might get what you’re after. Even if you don’t, a positive attitude can help you become a stronger, healthier and more stable person. This, in turn, can attract other people into your life. While the ways to get your ex back in your life may not pan out this time, you could find yourself in a relationship that’s much healthier, happier and more fulfilling down the road.

The ways to get your ex back in your life can build you up in the process as well. When you put words, actions and attitude to work in a positive manner, you may find exactly what you’re after.

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Signs You’re In An Unhealthy Relationship

The fear of being alone may drive you to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Unfortunately, the cost of doing so can be much higher than you may realize. When a supportive, loving, caring and respectful atmosphere isn’t available at home, you and your partner may both suffer the consequences.

An unhealthy relationship can take its toll in a variety of ways. Both you and your partner may feel unwanted, dejected, unworthy or even depressed. The negativity and lack of self-worth in your relationship may carry into other areas of life and damage you in your career, your interactions with other loved ones and most especially deep down in your psyche.

What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship and what can you do about them? Here are a few examples of common issues that signal serious problems:

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* You and your partner fail to communicate - When a respectful, open and caring exchange of thoughts, ideas, needs and wants isn’t shared between partners, an unhealthy relationship is evident. Communication is essential for building up and maintaining a good relationship. It is also vital for both partners in a relationship to feel part of a bigger and better whole. This issue can be tackled by facing it head on and learning the rules of good communication. Even if your partner is resistant, you can make attempts to work on communication skills yourself.

* You or your partner feel taken for granted - When one partner does all the work and the other one does not pitch in or little time is spent together, a feeling of being taken advantage of can result. This is a major sign of an unhealthy relationship. To face this issue head on, use communication skills to discuss your feelings in the open. Take steps to show your partner you care. Explain the actions that would make you feel more valued, appreciated and loved.

* Intimacy has gone out of your relationship - Intimacy is a major part of a healthy, loving relationship. Going beyond sex, intimacy can also include communication, cuddling, simple signs of support and even just holding hands. Making sure that you do your part can help bring the intimacy back into your relationship. If romance and passion are lacking and are seriously missed, leading to an unhealthy relationship, get creative to spark the flames. Little gestures can go a very long way on this front.

* You or your partner feel unsupported in personal development - A healthy relationship is one that provides plenty of support for the development of the individuals within the union. If you or your partner feel you’re prevented from developing interests, skills or talents, you may be in an unhealthy relationship. To remedy this, learn to support each other, not only within the confines of acting as a “couple,” but also individually. If your partner loves to sing, support her efforts to develop that talent, If you are passionate about painting, ask for the same support in return.

An unhealthy relationship can stifle the individual and damage the spirit. If you are living in one, take steps to bring your concerns out in the open and address them together as a couple. When you are able to do this, you may find that a seemingly troubled union can be put on the path to become a healthy, nurturing relationship that grows better over time.

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Inaction Can Ruin A Troubled Relationship

If you’re living in a troubled relationship, but fear taking action, stop. By not doing something to change the course of a troubled relationship, you could be doing yourself, your partner and your chances for future success a very big disservice.

Fear of communicating openly and honestly with your partner will not improve your relationship. Sometimes you simply have to “rock the boat” to make a difference and put yourself back on the right path. Even if some feelings get hurt along the way or your partner doesn’t believe there is an issue, saying something before the problems you perceive eat away at you is essential.

The reality is that even if your partner does not agree you have a troubled relationship, if you think you do, you do. To address your concerns head on and avoid further problems down the road, you must bring your concerns out into the light of day and make an attempt to work on them together as a couple.

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Even if your attempts to repair a troubled relationship do not work out, taking a positive step forward is still worth the effort. By failing to take action to salvage a troubled relationship when you see the warning signs, you could suffer these consequences:

* Internal conflict - When you realize you have a troubled relationship and you fail to act, you can begin to be eaten away inside with doubts, worries, concerns and negative thoughts. While your partner may think the issue is a “mole hill,” you could turn it into a “mountain” by refusing to air things out.

* Apathy - Living in a troubled relationship can be a very difficult, trying and draining undertaking. If no resolution to your problems is forthcoming, you may find yourself feeling apathetic about your relationship and even your life in general. While this will damage your troubled relationship even more, apathy ultimately causes you even more harm. Self-respect requires that you take action to create a healthy, happy and fulfilling relationship. Even if this means you have to break a few eggs, the discomfort of confronting the issues can be well worth it.

* Worsening of problems - Small problems that are allowed to fester tend to grow out of proportion. When you feel your relationship is heading in the wrong direction, acting immediately to identify issues, communicate with your partner and try to revolve them is essential. Even the most minor of complaints can become a relationship-breaker if it’s allowed to simmer unchecked for too long.

* An eventual break - If a troubled relationship is allowed to continue unchecked the ultimate result might be a breakup that is irreconcilable. If this is not the case, it is possible the relationship will become so mired in inaction and other unhealthy behaviors that both partners will suffer living in a unhappy, un-fulfilling situation. It is better to work on communication, air grievances and let the chips fall where they may than to spend a life unfulfilled.

Living in a troubled relationship demands action. When positive, healthy steps are taken to mend problems, couples can grow stronger, better and healthier as a result. The outcome might be the relationship you have dreamed of having.

The risks are worth the potential rewards and the cost of inaction is too high for you, your partner and your relationship.

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How To Stop The Divorce And Rebuild Your Life

It doesn’t matter whose fault it is or how far into the legal process your case happens to be, there are ways to stop your divorce if you are having reservations about breaking up with your spouse. With the right actions, attitude and a little luck, you may successfully salvage your relationship and make it better in the process.

Before going headlong into a plan to stop the divorce, explore your reasons for wanting to do so. Take a close look at your relationship and where things went wrong. Make sure your motives are pure. Also, be certain your union is worth salvaging, because not every marriage can or even should be held together.

If you decide you want to move forward and take action to stop the divorce, there are some steps you will want to take:

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Step 1 – Reach Out To Your Spouse - While you can stop the divorce, or at least stall it, by contesting it, your best bet is to open up a line of communication with your spouse. Declare your desire to stop the process and make an attempt to work things out. Be aware that your spouse may not be willing to do so, but try to get the opportunity to at least discuss the possibility.

Step 2 – State Your Case - When you have your spouse’s ear, you will need to clearly, concisely and as calmly as possible state your case. Your spouse will need to hear why you want to stop the divorce and work things out, what you believe needs to be done to fix issues in your marriage and what steps you are willing to take.

Step 3 – Listen To Your Spouse - Open your ears and listen carefully to what your spouse has to say. Even if your spouse isn’t receptive to the idea of reconciliation, he or she may provide some insight you can use to improve your situation.

Step 4 – Evaluate What Has Been Said - After you have had the opportunity to discuss your desire to stop the divorce, reevaluate your position based on your spouse’s response. You may have gained valuable information about what needs to be done to set things right. If so, are you willing to take the actions your spouse suggested?

If your spouse is adamant about moving forward with the divorce, has another person in his life or if there was violence in your relationship, you may need to evaluate the wisdom in pursuing reconciliation. While it’s best to never say never, you also deserve an opportunity to make a fresh start and enjoy a healthy, happy relationship down the road.

Step 5 – Take Positive Action – If you and your spouse have agreed to work together to stop the divorce and rebuild your relationship to be stronger and better, it’s time to take action in a positive manner. Work together on the issues you’ve discussed and seek counseling, if it’s appropriate.

Keep in mind that repairing a relationship that was damaged enough to head for court can take a lot of time and effort. It is likely there will be many ups and downs along the way. Try to remain positive and keep working toward the ultimate goal: a relationship that is healthy and fulfilling for both of you.

Now, if your spouse doesn’t agree to stop the divorce, you can still take positive action to build a better future for yourself. Try to remain positive, work on building your self-esteem and gain strength from the lessons you’ve learned. In time, you may find yourself in a better position to enter into a new relationship that is healthier, happier and more fulfilling than the last.

In many cases, it is possible to stop your divorce and create a better relationship. Even when it is not, you can benefit immensely from examining how and why things went wrong and what you can do to enjoy a loving relationship in the future.

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A world authority on the psychology of relationships, Mort Fertel, says that the key to a long-lasting, successful marriage is “not finding the right person, it is falling in love with the person you selected.”

Falling in love is an emotional response to a strong attraction to an individual. It is a spontaneous response to a physical, emotional and intellectual appeal between two people.

Loving someone, on the other hand, is something at which you have to work actively. In order to sustain that loving feeling towards the person to whom you are married, you must apply time, energy and effort to the relationship.

If the “bloom is off the rose” in your relationship it is likely that you and your partner are responsible. By not applying yourselves to the marriage, you have lost or misplaced the promise of what began with such great passion.

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It is very possible that you can recover that passion and rekindle the romance in your lives with each other. You can stop your move towards divorce and end up being happier than ever with the person your heart originally chose as your mate.

In order to stop your divorce you must address those factors that are pushing you towards that action. You have to eliminate as many negatives from your relationship as humanly possible.

Sure, you can let your divorce occur and you will probably connect with someone else and possibly fall in love again. If you don’t learn the lessons you need to about sustaining your love, then you will be in the same boat as you are now, heading for another divorce.

What was it about your partner that first attracted you? Chances are they are still the same person underneath all the baggage that one or both of you have added to the relationship by not doing the things necessary to stay in love.

If you are both amenable, you should each make a two-part list of what you like about your partner and marriage to them and then all the things you dislike. If your partner doesn’t want to take part in this exercise, do it yourself.

Sit down and discuss each of those lists, or just yours. When you expose the good and bad sides of your marriage, many of the negative issues will seem trivial. When taken together, however, they become like a millstone around your necks.

Make a joint commitment to change the facets of your relationship that you don’t like. Or commit to reduce them as much as humanly possible so that the positives in your marriage far outweigh the negatives.

Make a pact to think and talk positively about your partner and your marriage to each other and to other people. Expose the good side of each of your characters and each of you tell the other that you love them, often.

It sounds rather simplistic, but if you practice being in love, you will be in love. You will be able to sustain that relationship and fan the fires of your passion once more. If you spend your time dwelling on the negatives of your marriage, then your marriage will be a negative one.

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Getting divorced is one of the most significant decisions you can make in your life and you should not give in to it easily. No matter what you are feeling, it is essential to prevent emotions that either of you are feeling at the moment drive you into a divorce.

Learn to Talk Calmly

If every time you try to talk things out it turns into a yelling match, you are only going further in the wrong direction. If you are going to try to resolve things and stop divorce from being the final outcome, you are going to have to learn to have a meaningful conversation without letting your emotions take over.

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You are probably feeling anger, hurt, depression, confusion, and a whole host of other emotions. But unless you can push those feelings aside, you may never find out what has led your spouse to take the steps she is taking. If she has agreed to talk with you and you genuinely want to deal with the issues and stop divorce from being the outcome, then keep these points in mind:

* Don’t yell. No matter how you feel or what you are thinking, badgering her isn’t going to make her stop divorce proceedings.

* Remember how important conversation is to getting your marriage back. If she is the one who has already moved out and filed for the divorce, then naturally there is a reason why. She didn’t just get up and decide to go file for a divorce for no reason. If you aren’t sure what that reason is, you need to find out. The only way you can do this is through a calm conversation where there is no yelling, name calling, or accusations.

* It can be difficult to stop the divorce from happening once your spouse has filed for it. The only way to do this is to persuade her to stop the proceedings that she has started. Blaming her for the issues you are having isn’t going to persuade her that things are better than she imagined and cause her to stop the divorce proceedings. The only way to convince her is to take an honest look at what the problems are with your marriage and then let her know that you understand. Consider how you can change those things to make them better. Make an honest commitment to improve your marriage.

* Agree to spend more time with your spouse and then follow through on that commitment. That means making dates to do things together that both of you enjoy and not showing up unexpectedly or interrupting her work.

It may take a while to work out the issues you have in your marriage and stop divorce from happening, but it will be worth the effort. You may end up with a much better relationship as a result. If you still have unresolved issues, you should consider marriage counseling to ensure you continue to make improvements in your marriage and stop divorce from happening in the future.

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Whatever the reason, our “mobility” is often the source of a lot of problems in our personal interactions. In these times, you can be hard pressed to find ways to save your relationship.

If you are finding that your intimate relationships are in trouble, you are certainly not alone. In order to save your relationship with your sweetheart, you have to go back to the beginning and work forward from there.

There must have been something that attracted you to your partner in the first place. Revisit those early days of your relationship and revel in the passion and intensity that accompanied those first moments.

Now think a bit more about those early times. Did you both work at establishing a foundation on which to build or were you “just playing it by ear”? Those initial days, weeks, and even months of passion do fade.

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Your relationship will continue long-term only if you cultivate mutual interests, respect for each other and good communication about everything a couple needs to discuss.

Some relationships only continue because you are both used to it and no alternatives have offered themselves. It’s kind of sad, isn’t it?

Take heart, though – no relationship is over until it’s over (thank you, Yogi Berra). If you are still together, you may save your relationship with a few simple steps.

An analysis of long-term, fruitful relationships finds that there is some commonality in them all. The couples grew beyond the initial attraction and process of falling in love. They grew to really love each other, with all the warts and bumps and scars we each carry.

NOTE: Being in love is different that falling in love. When you fall in love, it is a purely emotional, physical response to the attraction you feel for the other person. Being in love is a conscious act of affection brought on by familiarity, appreciation, respect and good communication with your partner.

You have to maintain a positive attitude about your mate. You must overlook the warts and scars and see the inner person. View them in a positive light and talk about them in a positive manner. Like courtesy, it is contagious.

Make up a list about your partner with two columns, one for the positive things about them and one for the negative. Encourage your partner to do the same about you. Then compare your lists.

Make a commitment to each other to change as many of the negatives on each list as you can. Make another commitment to communicate well, as this is the basis for any sound alliance.

Commit further to expanding upon your mutual interests and activities. Take up a hobby together, go to the health and fitness club together, go to Church together and share your friends and families.

Your relationship should be a joy for both of you. Remember that “the quality of a relationship is measured by how well it meets the needs of all those involved.”

Do these things and you will be the couple that all others look to for encouragement that good relationships are lasting, fulfilling and a joy to behold.

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